The Edith Stauffer Model* * from Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith Stauffer

This is a script for the forgiveness work. It will not make sense unless and until you come to understand the work and either observed it, participated in it or listened to a tape providing a context and introduction to it. Forgiveness tapes are available through NAICR and may be ordered on this web site. 

See also forgiveness overview and forgiveness links. 

"I will to forgive you (name)"

Tell (name) what you need to forgive him/her for: Be specific. Generalities don't work.

"I need to forgive you for (what, exactly, (s)he did) I remember when you . . . "

"And it made me feel (how you felt then/now)"

Repeat steps 2 and 3 for each specific thing you can remember that the person did or omitted to do.

"I would have preferred it if you had (been/done something differently)."

Do this for each specific item you wish to forgive. If new matter comes to mind, do steps 2 and 3 first.

Step 5 Engage Your Body -  to cut the cord that binds you to this person and to the past:

As you say this, move your arm in a chopping motion in front of you to physically cut off the demand: 

"But you didn't do that, so I cancel my demand and expectation that you (be/do something differently)."

Repeat for each item.  After the last specific, say 

"I cancel all my demands and expectations that you be other than you are and have been." As you do this, physically chop off those expectations and demands.

Step 6 Give Up Responsibility for that person: 

using your hands - extended toward the "empty" chair 

"I give you full responsibility for your life, your words, your deeds, your destiny."

Step 7 Claim Responsibility for your own life: using your hands placed lightly over your heart 

"And I take full responsibility for my own feelings, my own life, my words, my deeds, my destiny."

Let your body speak to you. Emotional memory is stored in the body. Through your awareness now, take notice of what has happened. There is nothing to do.

. . . Notice the holes created by cutting the cord that has connected you to this painful past. If there are any other specific acts/defaults you need to forgive now, go back and begin again.  If not, go on. In this step you simply take note of what your body is telling you. 

the all-wise, all-loving part of you, called the NAPHSHA by the Essenes:

. . . See, Feel, Imagine, Know  this NAPHSHA as an egg-shaped field in which the PHYSICAL SELF resides and of which you are the expression. The Physical Self is within the Emotional Self and both are within the Mental Self. All reside within the Spiritual Self, according to the Essenes.

. . . Bring your awareness to the seat of consciousness of the NAPHSHA, feeling the tenderness and unconditional love this all-wise, all-knowing part of you has had for you all your life long. 

. . . Recognize that you have always known that the NAPHSHA has watched over and guarded and protected you your whole life, has seen you stumble and fall, has seen how hard you've tried to do what you knew was right. 

. . . Open your heart to the power of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that the NAPHSHA has for you, loving you just as you are now, just as you have always been. 

. . . Open your heart to the compassion, the wisdom, and patience and yes, humor, that this all-wise part of you feels toward you; IMAGINE this love flowing NOW to the PERSONAL SELF.

Step 10 Bring Your Awareness back to the PERSONAL SELF seated here.

. . . . See, Feel, Imagine, Know that you are now  receiving the stream of love, wisdom, compassion, patience and a sense of humor flowing from your NAPHSHA. 

. . . notice how warm it is. 
. . .  see it filling the empty spaces left by the forgiveness. 
. . .  feel it pushing against those little holding spots and gently releasing them. 
. . .  know it is bringing unimaginable joy.

You are being filled with this pink-tinged-with-green,-silver-and-gold substance, pouring into you with the force of a tidal wave which is your Naphsha's Unconditional Love and Acceptance of You just as you are, just as you have always been.

See, Feel, Imagine how it pushes through the physical self -- to the emotional self -- and to the mental self -- until you are filled to overflowing with this Unconditional Love, until this Unconditional Love starts spilling out the top of your head, flowing all around you, covering everything and everyone in the room, in the building, in the neighborhood, in the community -- for it cannot be contained.

WHEN YOU ARE SIMPLY OVERFLOWING with this love, 

WHEN YOU CAN IMAGINE it flowing around you onto everything and everybody, 

EXTEND YOUR OPEN HANDS TO [NAME], symbolizing the gift of your love:

"[name] I send you my love, just as you are and just as you have always been..."

and in this release, know that you are releasing yourself: 

"and I release you to your own highest good." 

It is complete.

Take a deep breath, wiggle your toes. When you are ready, open your eyes and return your awareness to the room. Check in with your body - how does it feel? Check in with your heart. How does it feel? If others are present, ask what they notice about you. 

To order a tape of Barbara Ashley Phillips giving this exercise, send your name and address with $12 plus $5 S&H for a total of $17 to

North American Institute for Conflict Resolution
647 South First Street
Cottage Grove, Oregon 97424
Or
North American Institute for Conflict Resolution
10431 37 Avenue
Edmonton, Alberta T6J 2H9
Your order will be shipped within the week.